Saturday, January 5, 2013

I Don't Need Him

The I Don't Need Him Mix (more subtly known as the I am soooo over that black-lunged son-of-a-bitch mix). HA!  Who was an angsty girl?
Here's where I admit that when I pulled this out of our box of tapes, I laughed loud and hard.  Mostly at my capability for such bitterness and then in embarrassment that I wasn't sure which black-lunged son-of-a-bitch this tape was about.  Then I looked at the songs, and instantly figured it out. 

There was this boy in my past, he repeatedly broke my heart.  It's a comfort to me now that I couldn't remember who this tape was about right off, but I fully admit that up until maybe ten years ago, he still would pop up in dreams (funny how subconscious works, whenever my brain needed a bad guy, there he'd be).  I have no idea when I made this tape, but I'm going to wager that it was in grad school, just after I washed my hands of him for the millionth and final time, just before I started my relationship with Matt. 

The third and fourth songs are specific to him.  These lyrics in particular:

But Anyway by Blues Traveler
I lied I told I love her - She did not care but anyway
I told her we'd still be friends - And she did not care but anyway
I tried last week to call her - She wasn't home but anyway

Jealousy by Natalie Merchant
Is she the sort - You've always thought - Could make you - What you're not?

Sometimes, tell me - While she's touching you - Just by mistake - Accidentally do you say my name?

Who me, bitter much?  HA!  Good times, good times.  I particularly like the segue of anger starting with Queen through the Femmes, and then the optimism of Madonna.  

Promises - Eric Clapton (1978)

Already Gone - The Eagles (1974)
But Anyway - Blues Traveler (1990)
Jealousy - Natalie Merchant (1996)
Too Many Fish in the Sea - The Commitments II (1992)
Think - Aretha Franklin (1968)
Penny on the Floor - The Clarks (1991)
Hit Me With Your Best Shot - Pat Benetar (1979)
Another One Bites the Dust - Queen (1980)
Every Little Bit Hurts - The Clash (1991)
Murder By Number - The Police (1983)
Kiss Off - The Violent Femmes (1983)
Express Yourself - Madonna (1989)

Matt says that he can envision me, driving around Oakland in my Shadow, this mix cranked, belting out my bitter girl angst.  I can almost remember that girl, and I'm glad she's long gone. 

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